I passed my directing assessment today!

For the assessment I had to direct a multi-camera studio production as ‘live’ and I’m so relieved to finally have it over and done with and not have to stress over it anymore. I didn’t even finish the paperwork until 11pm last night when I was on the bus home from working in Edinburgh. But now I can relax instead of getting myself worked up over the littlest of things.

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I never thought I’d ever say I actually quite like working at the Royal Mail and wouldn’t mind staying on, but I don’t think they’re taking anyone on permanently. I never thought I’d actually stick it out, at Ibrox I probably work 6-18 hours a MONTH, whereas here I’m working 33 hours a week as well as being at college full time. I like it now that I get on with the people I work with buy I don’t think we’re close enough to stay in touch after we finish which is kind of gutting.

At seven o’clock I got an email from the Royal Mail saying they’d like to see me for an interview, but being at The Midnight Beast I didn’t get to read it until eleven.

WHY DO YOU NEED TO DO SO MUCH FOR AN INTERVIEW FOR A JOB I PROBABLY WON’T GET?!

You have to print off about 20+ pages of documents (health forms, bank details, contract of engagement, summary of your application etc) bring a passport, NI card, bank card, and prof of home address PLUS a photocopy of each of these things. And also two passport photographs.

If I don’t get the job I’ll cry, cause the only time I could actually go for an interview is tomorrow. TOMORROW! I got the email at 7pm tonight! And I have to leave college early to get there.

So I think my job interview went okay today, he said he’s only got fifteen people to interview but I have no idea how many vacancies there are so that really means fuck all to me. On Monday he’s going to give me a call and tell me whether they want me for a trial shift or not and then they’ll decide if they’re going to take me on. I really need another job, six-eighteen hours a month is not enough and this job would give me at least sixteen hours a week.

I just hate the waiting around to find out.

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Got a job interview! I know I probably won’t get it (it’s a fancy Italian restaurant in the city centre) but just the fact that finally I’ve heard back from someone makes me have hope again. 

One day, one day I will be able shout to the words I have only ever dreamed of saying, “I never have to work in Ibrox again.” Unfortunately for now I better go for a nap if I want to be in a good mood for tonights match, going to busy considering it’s Rangers vs Motherwell. Kill me now.

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I get really bad anxiety attacks before I go to work, it’s horrible. 

It’s became worse since I was promoted to from assistant to supervisor, probably because I always feel like I’m going to fuck up on a colossal scale.

It’s pathetic. I’m pathetic.

Dreading tomorrow.

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